


a diver that can't resurface.

by ゼロ四 - yon (arurun)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Death, Depression, Gen, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sasuke travels back into time, Suicide, Time Loop, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, but keeps failing, that's the story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-07-23 20:41:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20014489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arurun/pseuds/%E3%82%BC%E3%83%AD%E5%9B%9B%20-%20yon
Summary: Sasuke sighs in defeat. He braces himself for the nauseating ride back, but with how many times he's already failed, he's not sure what else he can do to break the loop.





	1. the horizon drifts.

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to this fanfic that, idk, just kinda exists. in this story, Sasuke tries to fix it. But apparently time doesn't want to fix itself.

“Kakashi!” Obito moves before he thinks.

He snaps back, to the fallen, crumpled figure on the cavern floor. He dashes through the rain of stones to reach him. Sharply dodging the infinite barrage of rocks, he scoops up the younger boy-- but he has no time to step away.

He barely manages to fling the boy in Rin’s direction, before he looks up and falters at the boulder mere inches from his face.

His eyes squeeze shut, and in that frightening moment, he wonders if this is how it feels like to know you were going to die.

The horrifying emptiness is blown away into a burst of light. A sword coated in translucent blue light, and a mortifyingly strong swing shatters the boulder to pieces.

Obito finds himself cradled into an adult’s arm, pushed close to the man’s chest as the man lands cleanly before Rin and Kakashi, the latter slowly rousing.

Obito is breathless as he  _ realizes _ , (and he climbs over the man’s shoulder just to get a better look of the rubble,) that the boulder, possible large enough to fill a large of the cave itself, had been shattered into such indescribable bits.

He reminds himself of Uncle Fugaku’s irritating lessons on Chakra control and suddenly a desperate  _ awe _ and desire to  _ learn  _ fills him fully.

“No injuries?”

When the man speaks up, Obito tenses, suddenly remembering that they were in the pack of a bunch of enemy nin, and this man-- who he now observes to have no hitai-ate-- could very well be an enemy too.

Obito shoots back and staggers out of his hand, but doesn’t manage to stand up as his knees, weak from the near death experience, fails to find strength.

The man soon proves himself to be an ally-- a Konoha headband hidden in his sleeve, he justifies it as hiding from potential enemies, and the three accept the reasoning easily. After all, he  _ had _ saved Obito’s life.

The man helps them out of the cave (Obito notices that he only has one arm. He doesn’t point it out, he remembers Aunt Mikoto whining about how that’s rude,) but their strange encounter is cut short when Iwa Shinobi,  _ adults and experienced fighters _ , surround them in all directions, outnumbering them.

Obito and Kakashi are more than excited to duke it out. He may be Chuunin (and Kakashi a Jounin now, details) but Konoha Shinobi don’t go down without a fight! 

He asks the strange, one-armed man if he’d help them. The man helpfully agrees.

Obito and Kakashi charge forward.

Obito steps on a hidden crusade of explosion tags.

He’s not too sure because his vision is blurry, the pain is too great, and Rin is crying above him-- but he thinks he sees the one-armed man pluck a kunai out of his pocket, and aim it at his own throat before plunging it in without a second thought.


	2. the sky's too blue to draw up a tomorrow.

Obito stands side by side with Kakashi. He’s always hated the younger kid, but hey, they were a team and he wasn’t going to deny that tag-teaming with Bakashi felt  _ awesome _ .

His Sharingan flaring in each eye, Obito passes a glance to the strange, one-armed man that saved him before. The man stands behind them, Rin only a pace before him in case either of her two boys get hurt.

“Sir, thanks a whole ton for saving my life,” Obito jokingly suggests, almost nervous, “but uh, think you could lend us a hand in this?”

Obito notes Kakashi’s one-eyed scrutiny, but Obito shrugs. The man, whoever his name was, wore a Konoha Headband around his head. That meant he was an ally and well, ranking meant shit when lives were concerned, right?

The man nods firmly with a very Uchiha hum. Obito holds back a snort.

“But watch out,” the man speaks up seriously, and the three younger ones recognized this tone as one Minato-sensei would use when things were dire, “there might be landmines planted around the ground.”

Obito hisses at the thought.

“They’re infused with chakra, so, Obito,” the stranger points at the boy, “you’ve only gained your eyes recently, but this would be a perfect opportunity to practice detection with them.”

Obito jerks his head down in a nod. A moment too late, he notices that he’d never given the man his name. There was also no way the man could know Obito only gained the Sharingan a while ago.

Their strategy meeting cut short by a simultaneous Earth casting, Obito and Kakashi launched away to avoid being swallowed by a line of earth snakes.

Obito scans the area for Rin.

He finds her in the arm of the familiar Leaf Shinobi, tucked carefully on a safe tree. 

In the next moment, Obito is shoved away. Kakashi shoots into his place in time for a lightning-charged jutsu to strike the younger boy in the right arm, searing through his clothes like fire and leaving the shoulder charred and limp.

It was a lightning attack. 

And everyone knows direct lightning attacks like those usually cause permanent nerve damage.

Obito grasps Kakashi in a panic, and in his efforts to land safely he finds himself surrounded in all directions, crowded by landmines, and Kakashi, in his arms, is unconscious.

He swirls to Rin and the one-armed man in desperation, but the only thing he registers is the man holding Rin back, staring back disappointingly at Obito with his only visible eye.

The man closes his eyes, pulls a kunai out of his sleeve-- and Obito’s attention is swirled back to the enemies around him, so he doesn’t see what happens next.


	3. unable to breathe in the frozen crowd.

It’s been a week since that disastrous Kannabi Bridge mission. 

Not the proudest Jounin Advancement mission to brag about, but Kakashi dwells on it simply because Uchiha  _ Taka _ , he calls himself, is currently the talk of the Jounin community.

The success of that mission was entirely owing to that man. One eye obscured, and having only one arm, the man overturned what seemed like a hopeless situation in seconds. It took only a single glance with Genjutsu and that was it.

Kakashi feels like a failure of a Jounin-- he admits it, but that only made him so much angrier about the damn mission.

Kakashi spends a month recuperating and adapting to losing one eye. The healing is handled superbly by the medic-nin in Konoha, but the change in depth perception and the new blind spot would need further work.

Obito is going through a strict training regime under the Uchiha elders to develop his Sharingan as an additional force for the war. 

Rin had applied for an internship in the hospital, and is still training her hardest to raise her proficiency in the Mystical Palm Technique.

Dryly, Kakashi realizes they’ve grown apart. 

Despite being a team, all three of them are in different ranks and no matter how anyone cut it he and Obito just  _ didn’t mix _ . Kakashi hated this about them. He wished he could just be in a team with Minato-sensei, who knew exactly how to use Kakashi’s perks and blot out the flaws.

“You will head to the front lines,”

When the Hokage orders that of him, Kakashi can’t help but be proud of himself. He may be young, but the Hokage saw him fit to be one of his many soldiers. He was worried that his injury would cause a demotion, but Kakashi’s glad that wouldn’t be the case.

He was going to prove that the Hokage wasn’t making a mistake in this decision. He keeps his face stoic as he accepts this new assignment, and leaves as respectfully as he manages.

He meets Uchiha  _ Taka  _ on the way out, and briefly he wonders why the man had such a dark, horrified, and so infuriated look across his face.

Kakashi doesn’t manage to greet the man (I mean, he looks like he’s about to murder the Hokage but yeah, not possible, but Kakashi’s not taking any chances) as he  _ shunshins _ and returns home, ready to pack for an immediate leave toward the front lines.

It’s not two hours into his post when Hatake Kakashi’s encampment is bombarded with an ambush.

The young Jounin breathed his last.


	4. just how long have I been sinking here?

Kakashi feels utterly upset with himself.

His first Jounin mission, and not only had he let Rin get captured, lost his eye, and let Obito show him one up-- some nameless Jounin (Taka. He’s calling himself Taka,) came in and dealt with everything for them!

Kakashi knows that the only reason his newly acquired Jounin position hadn’t been redacted, was because the Hokage didn’t want Kakashi to feel too guilty about it. The war may be escalating, but Kakashi is young and he did his best.

Kakashi bites down on his lip, hearing the rumours spread--

**_Heard he was going to abandon his comrade. That’s how he lost that eye._ **

**_Some prodigy he was, just an overconfident brat in the end._ **

**_We all knew he wouldn’t have made a very capable Jounin_ ** **.**

Kakashi runs.

He’s failed. As a Jounin. As a Shinobi. He’s trying so  _ fucking _ hard and yet-- and yet, all they think about is the White Fang and that moron’s stupid mistake.

Kakashi isn’t Sakumo. 

“It’s alright, Kakashi. Let them talk.”

Kakashi sneers at Taka’s tone-- acting like he  _ understood _ , acting like he wasn’t a huge cause of what’s happening to him-- 

“You tried your best, and all three of you are alive. That’s most important.”

Why was Kakashi getting pep talk from this one-armed stranger anyways?

He slaps the man’s hand aside, and scowls.

He wanted Minato-sensei, but that teacher was busy. (Too busy to be concerned for Kakashi. Kakashi isn’t worth his time.) Minato-sensei was going to succeed the Third, after all. 

(Minato-sensei is a big shot, unlike Kakashi.)

In the dawn Kakashi trains.

Shuriken tucked between his fingers, he stood before a stand, simple target-- and he throws.

He’s horrified when none of them hit.

He reaches up to his eye, the eye he lost (the depth perception is messed up his sense of balance is altered his field of vision is narrowed) and it just strikes him, all of a sudden, that he isn’t even  _ smartass prodigy Kakashi _ anymore.

He’s been reduced to a cocky brat who can’t even aim at targets right.

He’s lost Rin’s unfailing devotion and Obito’s meager rivalry. He’s lost the Hokage’s trust and Minato’s faith in him. He’s lost the little expectations the village has ever held of him.

He lost his eye and that’s making him lose what little  _ Shinobi skills _ he has left.

He sees Taka standing beside him, but this time, he doesn’t shove the man off, snap at him, or even look at him to acknowledge his presence.

Kakashi simply sits there-- 

Because the Will of Fire no longer burns in him.

Taka turns around and walks away, not once turning back.


	5. spit out that sadness.

“You’re telling me, my students are going to be ambushed by Iwa-nin.”

Minato eyes the man incredulously. If he thought the strange, one-armed man with o _ ne eye covered, wearing a thick coat, and holding a dangerous-looking sword _ , isn’t suspicious, Minato would be an idiot.

“That’s why you want me to leave my spot on the front lines and go chase after them?”

His brow is raised, as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

But  _ Taka,  _ as the man introduced himself, has a stoic expression on, as if his face wasn’t a face, but a very realistic mask or something.

“My students can handle themselves,” he huffs, feigning pride, “I trust them. Plus, Kakashi is a Jounin already-- if I went to help them, he’d be offended.”

“They’re outnumbered, what if one of them don’t make it?” Taka stresses his tone.

Minato’s eyes narrow, “is that a threat?”

Taka flinches back, and Minato turns around, done with this conversation.

“I have no interest in talking to a shadow clone,” Minato glares, like he’d just been insulted, “if you are a spy who wishes to delay me from the front lines, please find a better excuse.”

Taka’s fists clench, and his head lowers in defeat, eyes closing as he breathes out in resignation. 

The next second, the clone was dispelled, and Minato was alone.

Then, abruptly, his Hiraishin seal-- the very one he’s stuck on Kakashi’s three-pronged kunai-- is activated.

Not thinking better of it, Minato leaps into the Kannabi Bridge area, finding himself in position just in time to deflect a kunai from taking out Kakashi’s eye.

The enemy cast himself in a camouflage jutsu, but Minato is much sharper than to be fooled by the cheap trick. He deals with the enemy instantly and scoops Obito and Kakashi into his arms, bringing them out of harm’s way.

“Explain,” he hisses.

  
The timing had been too impeccable. He knows that  _ Taka _ must have something to do with him being sent here and he’s furious, but first-- he’ll help the kids save Rin.


	6. just look forward.

Shikaku was expecting Minato, but by the time he showed, it was over.

Temporarily, at least.

Some strange, cloaked Shinobi had barged into the fight, sword spiking bluish thunder, and razed the enemies to the ground in seconds.

Shikaku isn’t mortified by the violence. He’s horrified by the sheer indifference the man exudes as he cuts down his enemy so quickly, as if they were but fodder.

“Minato’s busy,” Shikaku flinches as he realizes the man is speaking to him, “I’ll buy him some time.”

Shikaku can neither agree nor disagree with the man, because the man is gone, chakra blazing furiously. Even one-armed, the man was an impeccable fortress.

He wears the Konoha headband, but Shikaku can swear he has never seen the man before in his life.

The battle ends quickly, and when Minato arrives, he is furious. After all, he had apparently been dragged off against his will and the man, now identified as Taka, was the culprit.

Taka doesn’t speak anything in defense for himself.

Which is strange.

Two months later, the war reaches its climax. 

Hiruzen is nowhere to be seen, Minato is mourning the loss of his students, and the whole of Konoha mourns-- because the Beast of Three Tails is unleashed in Konoha in the wake of Nohara Rin’s death.

Konoha comes to an end, and Shikaku finds himself without a strategy.

On top of the Hokage Rock, Taka sighs, picks up a kunai-- and mourns another failed attempt. He plunges the blade into his chest, and he tries again.


	7. ...but I can't be satisfied that way.

He needs a change of plans, he realizes. Saving Obito was easy enough-- a simple intervention and the whole death could be prevented.

_But that apparently solves nothing?_

Sasuke grits his teeth, legs crossed over each other in a meditation position as he mulls over his countless attempts.

The root of the tragedy-- at least, Kakashi had factored for most of the issue to be in Obito's existence. Fueled by hatred, the man set up the stage for the Fourth Shinobi War. So if Obito was out of the way, boosted by love instead of hate-- that would change a whole lot of things and potentially Konoha would be saved as a result.

So why isn't it working?

If it wasn't Obito, it had to be Kakashi. And Traitor be damned Sasuke hated to see his teacher like that. Traumatised, ostracised, ruined by the village--

Kids are complicated and Sasuke almost scoffs, thinking that himself.

He's one armed, and no matter how strong he was he can't take on a whole war on his own.

Directly saving Obito wasn't working, and even making Minato help them out didn't work. Another core pivot turned-- if Rin died, there was such a high chance of everything running to shit too.

Nonetheless, Sasuke isn't sure which is worse-- the Kyuubi destroying the village, or the Sanbi destroying the village. It's the same fucking thing, history repeats itself.

He needs a more concrete plan. Something more than just 'let's save this dumb kid'.

Kakashi. He has to fix Kakashi's rule-bound mind, or things will only stay the same.

Sasuke needs outside support. Perhaps, the Hokage? Sasuke scowls at the thought, because he can't think of a way, any way, to make Sarutobi or Minato or (and especially) Tsunade believe a word of his time travelling shenanigans.

Sasuke breathes in, counts to seven, and breathes out. He does it again.

His missing arm throbs with a phantom pain, and he tries not to wince. He lets the words phrase itself in his head, conjuring a speech he needed to convince Kakashi to change-- but null, he lets out a noise of despair as he realizes he can't.

He's never been one for pretty words and strong empathy. He's never had charisma nor reasoning. He's not Naruto.

He breathes in, counts to seven, breathes out.

Naruto's not here to make everything so much easier and that's why he's having such a hard time. Sakura's not here with a good plan to solve things in other ways, offering new alternatives, and that's why Sasuke's suffering here alone.

Breathe in. Count to seven. Breathe out.

_This isn't like you._

Breathe in. Count to seven. Breathe out.

Breathe in. Count to seven. Breathe out.

Uchiha Sasuke stands up, and picks up the kunai with a sigh.

_Here we go again._


	8. even if everything becomes my enemy.

“Go and save her.”

Kakashi right about snarls at the man. 

It’s only mere moments after he parts with Obito. He’s still pissed.  _ Furious _ at that stupid, naive Uchiha that’s  _ supposed to be older than him but he’s acting so much more immature _ , and Kakashi wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone else.

The Konoha headband on the stranger’s forehead didn’t prove anything.

He could be a spy.

“I will take over your mission to destroy the Kannabi Bridge, so go.”

“Fuck no,” Kakashi draws his kunai from his pocket, reaching for explosive tags in his other pocket, “you might be here to interfere with my mission.”

This mission was important.

If Kakashi fails here, the war would escalate. If he succeeds, the war would soon end. This was important. 

This would be his chance to fix his father’s mistake. This would be--

“You would let Rin die?”

Kakashi grinds his teeth, “that’s none of your business!” he raises his voice, losing his composure. He’s had enough of this conversation with Obito.

Rin wouldn’t die. Not yet-- the enemies won’t kill her that easily. After all, Rin was a hostage. Hostages were best kept alive.

Kakashi has to destroy the bridge before their plan leaks out and all hope to succeed in this mission is lost.

Kakashi can’t falter here, they have no time!

“You hesitate,” the man points out sharply.

Kakashi flinches.

“If you make the wrong choice here, you will come to regret this forever, Kakashi,” the man grinds out his words strongly.

Kakashi clenches his fist, lips biting down. As if he didn’t know that already.

“The Will of Fire burns in you, Kakashi,” the man was uncomfortably close, but Kakashi didn’t want to move away. He felt like he  _ needed _ to hear this. “As Shinobi, you should follow your instincts, not your laws.”

Kakahi didn’t wait another moment to leap right off, biting his thumb, calling upon his ninken to track down his  _ stupid, stupid _ teammates.

Nearly a decade in the future, Kakashi would remember this man’s words. He would recall the man’s face, burdened with such resolve and sorrow-- Kakashi wonders if his face now resembled his.

Hollow, loss and grief-stricken expressions.

Crouching down before the gravestone, Kakashi sighs.

He wishes he had gone for Obito earlier-- because maybe then, Rin would’ve lived, and Obito wouldn’t have committed suicide.


	9. there's definitely a light there, I can feel it.

“Obito!”

Kakashi slides forward, pulling Obito aside and boosting forward. 

A flash of a kunai, disturbingly close to his eye-- momentum flashing forward, Kakashi braces himself knowing he wouldn’t be able to dodge this.

And just at that moment, the sharp clang of blade against blade rang through. A stray kunai is flicked into the air, and Kakashi is shoved back, straight into Obito’s grasps.

In his place stands a shinobi, an adult none of them has seen before. Poised with a kunai in hand, he digs it deep into the invisible figure before them.

With a guttural choking noise, the camouflage technique dispels, and the Iwa-nin collapses.

This man’s (they learn his name and it’s  _ Taka _ ’s) one visible eye shone red with a Sharingan-- Obito gasps at the sight.

Immediately they gush, realizing they’ve gotten backup from Konoha. Taka seems to have been sent by the Hokage, under the approval of Minato.

Kakashi wonders how Taka even knows where they were, or that Rin was kidnapped.

But the situation being too dire, he couldn’t ask.

Taka tells them that  _ they _ had to do this. Taka would stand by and hold back Iwa’s reinforcements, while Obito and Kakashi would go into the cave and retrieve Rin on their own. 

They were a team. Surely, they could manage this.

And they believed that too.

Until the moment they were caught in a Genjutsu, and their hopeless team bond shatters to pieces. 

Obito has no Sharingan. He hasn’t had the skills to keep up with Kakashi’s overwhelming  _ talent _ and no Kekkei Genkai to fill the gaps and make himself useful. Kakashi realizes that, so he tries his best--

“ Doton: Iwayado Kuzushi. ”

“We gotta get out of here!”

  
  
  


“Kakashi?!”

  
  
  


“...OBITO!!”


	10. but if I can make it that far...

“What’s this, Minato? You rarely drink.”

The bar owner is a little concerned for the young adult. He was always smiles and cheer-- and today, everyone was celebrating.

In stark opposition to that, Minato was almost depressed.

Sunken, the dismay so clear in his expressions-- it’s evident that the man has been tired out from the long day. He’s the hero of the front lines, defeating a thousand soldiers on his own. His team had also been a great influence on the bridge’s destruction, which meant they were currently revered.

But as Minato downs the mug of beer a little more rashly than the bar owner’s ever seen him do, he suddenly realizes it’s better not to ask.

This is a man that has just lost the brightest of three children under his care.

With all the celebration roaring over the village, no one had the heart to bring up the loss of young Kakashi. It would be insensitive.

The bar owner doesn’t expect to find someone else downing the legal poison with an equal amount of dead vigor.

An Uchiha, perhaps that man was. Dark hair, darker eyes, the bar owner doesn’t believe he’s seen this man around before, but if he needs a drink, who’s a lowly bar owner to stop him?

“You too, huh?” 

Minato speaks up. He’s dryly amused, perhaps a little drunk. He wasn’t a strong drinker, but on some days he simply needs to get lost in the migraines.

And the Uchiha responds dryly, “hn.”

Minato has his head on the table-- was he going to cry? He definitely feels the need to. He’s a minute away from a sobbing mess without even trying.

But he was an adult. He resolves to just enjoy the alcohol. Tears would spoil the taste, after all-- The man beside him slides a dish of sliced tuna in his direction, and Minato takes him up on the offer.

They sit in silence, and Minato tries to think of things other than the pain.

He considers Kushina, who he hadn’t yet broken the news of Kakashi’s death to. He was going to be punched for telling her only after, wasn’t he? Or perhaps, the Hokage, or Obito, or Rin, had already told her…

He thinks of Konoha, of peacetime-- of the Hokage position that is alarmingly in reach yet he doesn’t feel himself reach for it anymore.

He thinks of the man beside him. 

Who holds eyes like his, war-haunted, war beaten-- with the way has used his right hand for everything, Minato discerns that he doesn’t have his left arm.

Who did this man lose?

Then again, who in this country hadn’t lost anyone?

The man beside him downs his ninth mug, and promptly,gruffly, woozily, asks for a refill. The bar owner flinches, and responsibly refuses.

“I think that’s enough from you already, kid.”

And Minato agrees. You were unspokenly allowed to drink once you were a Jounin in this country-- but even that had limits. This one looked not much older than Genma.

He was drinking way too much to still be sane. He’d get alcohol poisoning-- why hadn’t he already keeled over from that, anyways?

“M’fine,” he insists, sliding the mug forward.

“No, you’re not.”

There’s a pause, and the Uchiha seems to smile. He lifts his head and looks at the bar owner with such a sad, empty smile-- Minato’s eyes narrow at the sight, because that was a sheer sign of such drastic loss, he should’ve been taken out of active duty. 

The man denies once again, “I have to be.”

His voice breaks mid-speech, and Minato thinks he sees a tear brim from the eye hidden under his bangs.

Minato doesn’t expect the man to suddenly pull out a kunai. 

He reacts when the man aims it at his own throat-- but he doesn’t make it in time.


End file.
